Meghan Markle new book “The Bench” will be released next week, and the former actress is dedicating it to her only recognized family, her husband Prince Harry and son Archie. It’s also written in her own “distinctive calligraphy script.”

As with everything about Meghan and her writing style, the statement is over-the-top and more cliché than inspiring.

The note reads, “For the man and the boy who make my heart go pump-pump.”

Umm, okay.

All that makes me think of the songs “Bump, Bump, Bump” by B2K and Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs and “Pump It” by the Black Eyed Peas.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with what she says, but Meghan has a bit of a problem when it comes to her writing. It’s always like she’s trying a bit too hard, and it comes across as fake rather than insincere.

She could have said, “For the man and the boy who are my whole world” or “For the man and boy who inspire me.” But no, she has to talk about her heart going “pump-pump.”

Great writing is not cheesy, overly descriptive and over-the top, it’s simple, straight forwards but at the same time profound. It’s a delicate balance, but really good writers can achieve it.

Meghan’s made it known that she would like to write more books. This inscription makes me cringe and I’m not looking forward to her other poorly written works, unless she can find a great editor and listen to that person.

But that’s doubtful.

On another note, it appears that their new daughter will be due on what would have been Prince Philip’s 100th birthday.

It’s strange that the couple, who has been obsessive to the point of annoyance about their privacy, would suddenly make it publicly known that their daughter’s due date is on Prince Philip’s birthday. 

But anything to keep that royal connection, right?

A source told The Sun, “The baby is due on Philip’s birthday and it would be so special if she came then.

“That, and naming her Pip, would be a lovely way to pay tribute to Philip.”

They added: “Harry has been discussing the due date and possible names with his close pals and they’re talking about it quite openly now it’s getting close.”

I didn’t know Harry had any close pals left, so I would assume that these are new friends that Meghan has approved for her husband, no?

Anyways, for a couple that supposedly hates the royal family and all it stands for, they are desperate to maintain the connection. 

Harry and Meghan’s bios have been publicly demoted on the royal family’s website to below all the senior members of the family, now known as the magnificent seven. The couple have also taken a hit when it comes to the search function on the website as well. While Meghan’s profile does come up if you search “Meghan Markle” it does not if you search for “Duchess of Sussex.”

Could that be a sign of things to come? It’s unclear. The website did fix the search function with Harry’s, though allowing his profile to come up in either a search for “Prince Harry” or “Duke of Sussex.”

But unlike most of the press, this publication doesn’t believe that the birth of a new daughter, regardless of whether she’s born on Prince Philip’s birthday or not, could heal what Harry and Meghan have done. At this point, the royal family is just waiting for the divorce, and will try to gracefully reintegrate Harry into the royal fold.

Either way, expect major news coverage whenever the little girl is born, whether it’s this week or she has already been born, which would explain the couple’s relative silence in this last week. 

That’s something, we can all be grateful for before the endless comparisons to Diana begin.

Picture from Hello Magazine.